The post before Xmas ...

So here we go again ...
Am still struggling with getting/finding job, as per usual; indeed, the current 'assignment' ends 21/12/09, and they are adamant that there will be no reprieve, no continuation-not enough work apparently. Although, Collene has been offered (and accepted) an extension to (at least) 30/06/10 ...
Am reading a rather interesting Walter Mosley book, Killing Johnny Fry - which (apparently) is an 'outrageously explicit sexual odyssey' ... But, for all that, is a quite enjoyable read! May be the drugs that I am abusing, or it could be that it has struck a chord? :O In either case, I am surprised at the level of pleasure that the writing is affording me.
Got beaten up (? - well, smacked in earhole, fell to ground, lacerated knee/elbow joints) on Friday night on way back, as quite inebriated, but still ... Had been to work Xmas do at Regatta, then walked into town to meet JimE at Criterion, and he brought some colleagues I used to work with. Shelley soon shot through, but Nikki was enjoying a night of freedom, so ended up having two (2) more (or maybe it was a couple more than that?) glasses of beer than I had anticipated ... But also one hell of a better time than I had anticipated, damn it all!
Anyway, trauma of event (+ delay in bruising, etc) led me to have Tuesday/Wednesday off, tucked up in bed, reading lots of novels, feeling sorry for myself, etc. Until Dani turned up, albeit two (2) days later than I had been expecting her to ... Took 'our' wheelie bin out twice (2) this afternoon so as to be picked up in morning, and twice Bob [I mean, the connection maybe tenuous? Or not!] bought the bin back in (I mean, what gives??? or, OMFG!!! to use a more poignant expression) ... WOW!!!
Toby from Ride Cycling Review has published his '09 Xmas wish list for the three (3) things this year that have grabbed his attention ...
Anyway, be back soon with more, I guess?

News from the Bar

"Bland is good, bland is safe, bland blends: perfect cover".
Banks, I. (2009) Transition. London : Little, Brown. p 15

Thursday night (afternoon?) it seemed rather important to amalgamate my supers. So went to Post Office to get my 5c stamp (as I still had a 50c stamp left over from last Xmas). Thinking to try a quiet area, I went to Boundary Hotel and got a bottle of Coopers Red, where I had my usual reaction to them trying to roll the bottle ... As it was warm I did contemplate a Mercury Dry, but decided that Coopers was the way to go, being the Boundary and all. Anyway, sitting o/s quietly, sipping beer, realised that I was missing a few vital statistics, such as my membership number, etc. Next thing I know, bloke slides onto chair opposite, and says 'Hi John' - was Ben, of all people! Turns out that he was sitting at the next table with Ouvre, Greigor, and Collene!!!

"How many times have you tried to talk to someone about something that matters to you, tried to get them to see it the way you do? And how many of those times have ended with you feeling bitter, resenting them for making you feel like your pain doesn't have any substance after all?
Like when you've split up with someone, and you try to communicate the way you feel, because you need to say the words, need to feel that somebody understands just how pissed off and frightened you feel. The problem is, they never do. "Plenty more fish in the sea," they'll say, or "You're better off without them," or "Do you want some of these potato chips?" They never really understand, because they haven't been there, every day, every hour. They don't know the way things have been, the way that it's made you, the way it has structured your world. They'll never realize
that someone who makes you feel bad may be the person you need most in the world. They don't understand the history, the background, don't know the pillars of memory that hold you up. Ultimately, they don't know you well enough, and they never can. Everyone's alone in their world, because everybody's life is different. You can send people letters, and show them photos, but they can never come to visit where you live.
Unless you love them. And then they can burn it down. "
Smith, M. (1994) Only forward. New York : Bantam Spectra. pp 195/6

Then it was Friday, TGIF, sweet glorious Friday. 'Free dress Friday' at work, in support of Movember. Except it was not so 'free' - email comes to floor with link to Centrelink policy page. No t-shirts, nothing with slogans or logos, no bike shorts, so am quite unsure how it differs from 'normal' dress? Except you get to wear jeans, instead of dress pants. After work, stripped off jeans to reveal my elegantly muscled, deeply tanned (except for that distinctive tanline) bike knick clad legs, and jumped onto my faitful Giant Yukon to pedal into town to meet JimE for a couple of beers. Where he told me has some music/mixes on SoundCloud for listening and downloading. Then went to buy and Apple iPod Shuffle, 2GB and in black. JimE wanted me to get it in pink, and I did consider it (briefly), but went for the black. Back home, plugged it in to charge, made a paejella inspired dish-fried onions/garlic in oil from anchovie jar, added potato, coriander, carrot, mixed in rice, stirred in some miso, added two chicken legs, water, and turned it down low to let it slowly simmer. Stirred it twice, but 20 mins later was eating it. Anyway, took some into Inspire Bar, where I ran into Ben and Sean, so stayed for a beer. Which ended up with a trip to Boundary Hotel to see Donnie do his thing. The action was out the back, in the Smoking section, where was Aidan. Coming back with some drinks, ran into a girl, who was Jenny. Who told me about coming home one day to find her b/f at the time Phil in bed with her friend at the time Rachael. Who was my Ray. But then was dragged o/s by her sister's b/f for fond farewells, and I never saw her again that night ... :( Interestingly, earlier JimE has spoken of that Kundra (not that he referenced Kundra) feeling of the 'Incredible lightness of being' and I suddenly felt I grasped that sensation a little better ... ;)
Would like to know where Jenny is though!

Monday away from the desk

More of a blurt about my getting away for the day, Monday 2nd November 2009 ...
Caught the 0541 train from South Brisbane - bit like the trips I would take down to Helensvale to either score or deliver money to 'Tony' - got off at Helensvale, and rode into Main Beach. Stopped off at petrol station to pump tires, then straight in over the bridge, before heading around to the left, before pulling into the first carpark. Changed, and then straight into the water (albeit after first slathering myself in 30+ and pulling on my new rashie). Typically, just as I was about to get into the water, a lifeguard pulled up and set up the flags 300m up the beach, so I moved up there to frolic in the water ...
Then jumped back on bike and pedalled down beach road to Southport SLC, where I discovered a rather important oversight, that I did not have much cash on me, and that the Club had no card facilities, so no breakfast there ... Ended up at the Surfers Paradise version some time later, where they had a $10 buffet breakfast - scrambled eggs, sausages, bacon, etc. Most of which I ate, and drank some of the most foulest coffee I have tasted in a very, very long time! But, I had my new Ride magazine, so I just pottered, sipping coffee, reading. Finally I got going, and meandered the streets of Surfers, to my favourite bank to get some cash, before heading South. Ended up going past, and then turning around to come back to, the Australia Fair to visit the Telstra shop re. my 'billing' issue(s). So the promptly stuck me onto the phone, because they do not 'deal' with such mundane jobs? Anyway, the long and the short of all of this was that Telstra would not accept my deal (pay $100, they waive/negate the rest, my phone gets reconnected). Consultant went away to speak to TL, comes back and conversation went something like this:
We are not going to rebate those outstanding monies! However, if you recontract today, we will waive all the monies as goodwill!
WHAT? You mean if I sign up again with Telstra right now, you will waive all the monies? On the same plan I am (or was) currently on?
Yep! Take it or leave it!
Take it, take it!!! Oh, how you twist my arm, but I will take it ... *
* The plan I am on is the staff plan, so is not too bad, and I am no longer telstra staff ... ;)
After that little 'success' I just had to go back, interestingly enough, to the same beach from before for another swim. Where in the space of about 5mins, the waves/wind went from being fun with lots of big waves to play around in to being very, very choppy! So I got out and went North for chippies on the beach ... unfortunately, the shop was shut, so I locked the bike up and backtracked a bit to some shop the proclaimed it had the best fish on all the Coast. Which you would imagine it would - cost me $10 for cod and chips (of which I had asked (and paid) for extra, but there was a PP amount in there) ... Anyway, took it back to enjoy by the little enclosed area and watched people doing their after work exercises, including a bunch doing intense martial arts! Then travelled on to the train station, along the way I noticed a slight tailwaind, so I used that to my advantage and caught the 1830 train back to Brisbane, before happily falling into bed!
What a day! Glad I only plan to do such things once a month ... ;)

From long ago ... could be a song?

SUICIDE

I used to laugh - long ago.
I used to let my happiness show,
I could make the world laugh at me.
But no longer can that be.

I tried so long to be loved.
But I was only pushed and shoved,
Away from all the love that I did need.
Treated like an unwatered seed.

Although being knocked back by all,
I tried to rise from my fall.

My self image was all battered,
And all my self confidence was shattered.

Nobody was there to understand,
Nobody was there to lend a hand.

Every night, while I lay in bed,
Strange thoughts go through my head.

I think I may, I think I might,
Commit suicide tonight.

I went to the workshop and got a gun.
Good grief! This was going to be fun!

Into the gun, the bullet went slam,
Pulled the trigger, then a BAM!

From the bang, my soul sang.
Oh my God, I've blown it again!

Sad, so sad

Oh, I feel so sad, so very sad ...
Yesterday was such a disaster - knew from the very earliest, when I almost ran somebody over on the crossing that this was not to be a good day ...

The -ve stuff:

• Went for 100% QOL, failed to meet-did not check Merc d/b for additional contact details of a customer;


• Had another one-on-one with Cheryl, she asks after my well being, my reply is not too good, to which she says that's nice dear;


• Went to bank, no change to o/s amt, so rang 3, money still not been refunded;


• Had meeting where Tony told us all our open and friendly he was, that his door was always open to hear opinions or concerns. Then promptly spoke all over any dissent from the floor and/or ignored any comments in line with his fuzzy/loving statements;


• After talk with Cheryl, she then went and got Jenny in trouble for her QOL practice of reaching over, hitting me across the head, then giving me a post-it with CRN, and a brief description of error, with correction process - maybe 5 seconds? Instead, I am 'required' to use QOL tool, read the feedback, and respond accordingly. Which means that I have to puzzle out what the QOL is referring to, find where they are referring to, and then work out how to resolve the issue ... and if it is a complex issue, as opposed to the 'stupid' mistakes (see below), there is no real avenue to resolve there and then, so will take up far more than the 5 minutes taken already;


• Cheryl NOTed me 4 times from day before, but all for silly mistakes - not updating AL screen with contact attempts, or updating AL, and then not updating PAS;


• Mere emails me and says not next w/e, maybe a f/n after that? Except I had just finished fighting with Cheryl (who for some reason seems to have become my TL) to confirm whether I could get the flex to take 02/11 off;


• Got a letter Thursday asking me to call Metrocity, as my phone was disconnected (oh?), but when I did, April says girl who wrote letter is away for week, and then asks me to check date on letter, which is like 05/10 (WTF?), but then promptly terminates the conversation; and,


• Worst of all, rang Bendigo, confirmed card available, but needed photo id, which I had left at home by accident. So rushed home, grabbed id, get in there, they refused to give me the card ... :( Of course, the absolute worst of all that is that I keep getting different stories at different times ... Mortgage Help (Steve) says pay the money get the card, give us the rest of money next week; Ariana says all good, may be an issue with arrears, but so be it, then y/day denies ever saying of kind. Reece seems to have been the only one to have made any effort or reliability?
  Which means no: Sigma 1606 from LifeCycle; no buying bus ticket to go visit Mere (although that was a moot point-see above); no more food, as I had predicated my next week on having card access; and no hope left ...

The +ve stuff:

• Finished all my activities (50-odd);


• The call to 3 elicited a confirmation that the refund is in process (with the Banking Team), but they just needed more time, so should be Monday. Fingers crossed;


• Bendigo branch says they will release the card to me once I pay the $300 arrears, which will be by 30/10; and,


• Opened an email from Deno, contained below, Ha depressed, sent to her, replies with much joy and admiration!!!

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime..
When you
know which one it is, you will know what to do for that
person.
When
someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need
you have
expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you
with
guidance and support,
To aid you physically, emotionally or
spiritually.
They may seem like a godsend and they are.
They are there
for the reason you need them to be.
Then, without any wrongdoing on your
part or at an inconvenient time,
this person will say or do something to
bring the relationship to an
end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they
walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we
must realize is that our need has been met, our desire
fulfilled, their work
is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move
on.
Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has
come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or
make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They
usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it, it is real. But
only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons,
things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional
foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson,
love the person and
put what you have learned to use in all other
relationships and areas of
your life.
It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
Thank you for being a part of my life,
whether you were a reason, a
season or a lifetime.
Then it went a wee bit majorly weird ...
Send this
to every friend that you have on-line,
including the person who sent it
to you.
0 Replies - you may need to work on your 'people skills'
2
Replies - you are nice but probably need to be more outgoing
4 Replies - you
have picked your friends well!
6 Replies - you are downright popular
8
Replies or More - you are totally awesome
(and that's probably why you're on
MY list)
I wonder what mine will be.
GUARDIAN ANGEL
Forward this
message the same day you received it.
It may sound ridiculous, but it is
right on time.
We believe that something is about to happen.
Angels
exist, only sometimes they haven't got wings and we call them
friends; you
are one of them.
Something wonderful is about to happen to you and your
friends.
Tomorrow at 10.35am somebody will address you and tell you
something you have been waiting to hear.
Please do not break it.
Send it to at least 7 of your friends.

Following twitters

Just a quick few words re. my hesitancy with the followers on Twitter ... should I just let them accumulate? After all, if someone wants to follow me who am I to deny them that 'pleasure'? yeah right, we do not lead, so have followers is presumptive and eerie ...
But the 'following' aspect could be useful - Cadel is there :O as too Helen Razer/Adam Spencer, and they are vaguely intellectual too ... hmm ...
So I think a certain observance of the 'followers' + a judicious use of 'following' and increase our media/net presence?
seems to be the (only) way to go ...
In other news, Ha is sad, depressed, like a sandy sinkhole into which the oil of friendship is poured ... maybe 'outventing' should be resurrected???

Going on

Here is the BMC bike I am currently drooling over.
Probably will not mean anything to you, the reader, but ... would like a Campag Chorus 11sp 11-25 sprocket, with the 50/34 crankset on the bike. Simply, this means that going up hills would be a little easier, but at the sacrifice of higher end speed in the sprint. Which I do not do ...
The real killer(s) will be choosing a seat and wheels (although, I DID notice that Campag has rejigged their 3G laced wheelsets ... so spoiled for choice).
Saving time, methinks - could be $5500, or more, for this setup?
But what is money for if not to spend, hey???

In other news, I gave the Yukon a fairly comprehensive clean - took over an hour, cleaning chain, pulled off wheels, attacked cluster, so should be right for another bit (year?), unless we get another dust storm like the other week!!! :O

Also had young Christine contact me the other day, blast from past, but seems she is still lonely, heart broken, taken advantage of ... speaking of how things do not change?

Bought a new helmet yesterday, and then promptly got attacked/swooped by a magpie, so consequently ALREADY have a hole in the helmet!!!

Finally, have been spending a bit of time at Inspire Gallery, if only because they are friends of Hugh's (have I mentioned Hugh before?), and they do have a rather intersting little German beer, albeit at $10/bottle (but 500ml).

Anyway, off to Sardine Tin to sample their wares ... it is a 'tough' life, no???

OMFG ... so long :O

OMFG!!! Look at how long since the last post!!! Over 1 year, more than 12 months, greater than 365 days, and still I am here ...
WOW!!!
Well, much has changed (not using, no possessions, working for Centrelink); much remains the same (in West End, still no contact with Rachel, riding Giant Yukon).
But, rather than go into all that here and now, let me just acknowledge this absence, and move on ... or at least until a future date?
For the moment, let me just say, again,
OMFG!!!