From long ago ... could be a song?

SUICIDE

I used to laugh - long ago.
I used to let my happiness show,
I could make the world laugh at me.
But no longer can that be.

I tried so long to be loved.
But I was only pushed and shoved,
Away from all the love that I did need.
Treated like an unwatered seed.

Although being knocked back by all,
I tried to rise from my fall.

My self image was all battered,
And all my self confidence was shattered.

Nobody was there to understand,
Nobody was there to lend a hand.

Every night, while I lay in bed,
Strange thoughts go through my head.

I think I may, I think I might,
Commit suicide tonight.

I went to the workshop and got a gun.
Good grief! This was going to be fun!

Into the gun, the bullet went slam,
Pulled the trigger, then a BAM!

From the bang, my soul sang.
Oh my God, I've blown it again!