Oops, here we go again ...

There is no 'I' in team, but there is in win, and there's a u in suck.

Wow, hard to believe that so much time has passed, and so quickly! But, here I am two (2) weeks later, finding this is realistically the 1st time in that period when I have been able to sit down and type this out! But, what has been happening? Well, I am GLAD you asked ...

• Extremely heavy rain at beginning of fortnight-typical tropical Brisbane weather, where there was significant 'flash' flooding, including the closure of the tunnels at Buranda because they were submerged! So ended up not getting bike back home until Wednesday night
• Toddled over to West End on Saturday to meet Jen U, have a few beers at Rumpus, catch up. Which was quite fun :) ... Stopped in town on way there to buy Volleys and 'The girl who kicked the hornet's nest' from the store that Gai suggested. Turns out everyone has new books out - Hamilton, Le Carre, Seymour - but every time I look on BCC library catalogue, they are never available! Waiting, always waiting. Also stopped at Art shop on Montague to get some new pens.But, alas, unfortunately, not only did they not have the colour I wanted in the Staedtler range, forcing me to buy a purple and a blue colour, but they also did not have that odd little Nikko pen I had been lusting after/seeking all week :(
• Shot out to JimEz on Sunday, quite a good ride, as it were, had a play with Hunter. Tried to talk him into going for a play at the foreshore, he said to get Daddy, but then refused to go anyway! Wore my new Volleys :) Stopped at Jubilee on way back for steak/chips/salad + XXXX and (surprisingly) it was really quite busy there! Maybe because of Octoberfest at RNA? Maybe because of cheap prices?

This last week has been odd - up and down like a yo-yo (or a 'prostitute's knickers', as somebody once said), with some mornings being absolutely glorious. But got another 'red' call - for POI that I had been told had been amended...
Rode to work 3 days, stopping at Alen's each morning for an espresso. Started on Monday, only to be told that I was to do B-5 training with the usual suspects for the rest of the week, with Dragana. Which was fun, but keen to get on phone and practice now;
Had trivia on Tuesday at Inspire, with Wayne and Hugh, but we actually lost that night! Still, does mean that we get to choose the theme next time - which Wayne decided was to be 90's culture! Even though I insisted on 'vodka' ... Had a bit of a chat with Jac-Jac about life and son's condition-as she said, it is better to be busy and occupied for those things. Also spoke to Marcel about the Movember events, seeing if we can try our luck again this year. But how to conclude things, I wonder?;
Weird, very weird ... thought that 3B had kicked me off as friend from FB, but then just got a message saying that 'Mother' had accepted my friend invitation ... Pity that I had not, nor would, send her an invitation - if only because FB is for friends, not family ... Do I owe 3B an apology then, especially in light of received text??? Weird, very weird, I tell you, because other issue was that all of yesterday I was completely unable to access internet!!! Every time I would go to connect, it would say page loaded, but no content would be displayed, so spent a lot of time trying out various techniques to isolate 'issue', but to no avail ... Then logged in this morning, no problemo ... except, turned it on at Jubilee, and a CHKDSK run started!
Anyway, time for (cheap) steak + chips at Jubilee, and might even splurge, have some (mushroom?) sauce as well? As expected, too much sauce and/or not enough chips! Sure do seem to be quite a few people here, and the day is especially warm, sunny, so I expect even more will be here soon? Decided to try the house wine, a Chardonney by 'the accomplice' (I think), and it is really quite disgusting-quite sweet in flavour, flat (but not in a good way) flavour, and leaves an odd taint in the mouth :( Might go back to the XXXX after this instead ... At least you know what you are getting, hey? [Actually, this wine is tasting worse(r) as it warms up :o]
Funnily enough, ran into John jnr outside of here, but he had work to do so did not want to come in with me, so grabbed his number instead, but damned if I can remember what it was that I was going to invite him to! Funny boy was riding around with chin strap undone on his helmet!!!
Oh, yesterday was a rather crazy day, in some ways I suppose, with a really, really early start-0410hrs, maybe?

• Started writing this, read some more of the Larsson book;
• Went off to West End on bike, noticed that Alen's was shut :( and went to the Markets for bread, to spend a bit of money on vegies - avocado, sweet potato. Looking for a wire mesh 'star' to rest espresso pot on-tried Mick's (which was open), but no luck. Pulled into Swiss to try there - 'know what you mean, don't have one though' - and got a text from Sev (Sam? Simon?) saying 'at Ugee's now, you far away?' :o So joined him for a long macchiato, then went to get hair/eyebrows trimmed, have a chat with my 'stylist', back for another mac, where we were joined by Lauren, before concluded with a chat to the bloke (Lou Peterson) with the Baum (had a decal with his name on the frame! lol) about the whys and wherefores of the bike;
• Rode home, put the sheets and pillow cases on to wash, then walked around corner to markets. Bought some stems + King Protea, then stopped at cafe for breakfast (sausages, bacon, (poached) eggs, tomato, hash brown, and multigrain toast + flat white, in a mug). All suitably disgusting, greasy, amusing. But what fantastic chairs to sit in, were SO comfortable, that I could almost imagine sitting there resolving 'issues' and sipping the horrible coffee, just to enjoy the chairs;
• After all that coffee, I was very wired! So did my usual trick of laying about, feeling the buzz, listening to Goa psy-trance ... Which was fun :) Also manged to clean the wet areas of the bathroom, but had to take a quick detour to Woolworths to get some gloves. And bleach. And some 'roo snags whilst I was there ... Which I cooked up with the 'mini' tomatoes I still had in the fridge-yummy :)
• Finally time to go to Inspire, but Shane had just come home, and (wouldn't you know it) was in the mood for a chat (unload?), so sat there for awhile listening, before excusing myself to meander across William Jolley bridge. There were a few people at the Normanby, many of them seemingly ready to enjoy the kitchen. Apparently there was a Brisbane Roar game on, so there were a lot of Orange tops about - reminded me of (Northern) Ireland during the 'Troubles' ;) Beetle Bar was not quite open, but looked through window and was impressed by the way the set up looked. Anyway, came over bridge, sent text to Jen U/Sev to say be there in 20mins, am going to buy bottle of wine, come have a glass, help me drink it ... Of course, no sooner paid for wine, and Sev texts back to say 'not coming, headache' ... So finished glass, thinking I may as well settle in, enjoy the night, this bloke sits down, starts chatting, Jen U texts to say 'on way' ... Turns out David was an artist who had 1 of the pictures in the display, knew who was who, and was a seriously amusing fellow ... Jen U coming was so much fun - lots of laughter and funny stories - even managed to drum up some business for her? Ilona performed guitar + voice to keep us amused, as well as having a piece on display ... Vanessa curated a rather good display, I thought, but was a teensy bit amused that there were so many of her pictures in the show ;) Anyway, turns out that Ildi's friend Randall was there, with a rather amusing picture, and Sandy also turned up :o but whether she remembered me??? Or why? lol

Whoa! Ended the day with a trip to the zombie walk - Shane had a friend come visit, on way up on train he saw all these people painted up as 'zombies' and so he asked 'why?' (as you would), to which they told him about the zombie walk in Brisbane ... Anyway, am sitting there on verandah, sipping my Mercury Draught, eating my CCs, and they come in to drop off his bag, before heading back into town to explore. So I asked if I could tag along (as you do), and it was so much fun - helped by Shane's telling of China Melville's 'Paradisio' tale on the way in ... Anyway,regret no photos to share :( But, OMFG what the kids of today get up to!!! ;)
Came home to drink some more Draught cider, cook an interpretation of paella, listen to some Tool ...
So, how you doing? What you been up to? :)
Almost paid 1 credit card off :) and have listed shares with broker, so should have two (2) cleared by beginning of next month :) Right on schedule :) Just in time for me to get a new bike - either a Pinarello FP1 or an Opera Bernini :o

Sharing + caring

"You can lead a whore to culture, but you can't make her think. –Dorothy Parker"

Maybe 3B is right?
Maybe I should just give up?

Anyway, have moved into the new place up at Kelvin Grove, and pretty much all it has done since I got here has been rain ... A typical Brisbane Spring, with the tropical rain that is kind of warm, refreshing, constant, but also irritating because it is so constant! There is a patina of 'moss' about the place, which I shall have to remove with white vinegar in the near future, I suppose?
Speaking of which, there is garden space here too, and I am looking forward to restoring some areas with flowers-even petunias, maybe? Plus there are the pavers around the side that are just screaming out for treatment with brown vinegar :) Washed clothes on Saturday, and hung out to dry under the house, but am not confident that they are quite finished yet ...
One of the most amazing things about being here is that I so rarely see any of the other two! Believe that there is a girl that is the next room, and I certainly have heard her watching tv sometimes, but have only really seen twice, briefly, as she flitted in/out, on her way to another 'happening', for other than that, she seems to spend the majority of her time in her room. The fellow too seems to spend an inordinate amount of time in his room as well, but at least I have had something approaching conversation with him - turns out he has/enjoys psy-trance music :o Who would have thought?
Having cleared/cleaned (with the emphasis on 'cleaning'-hard to believe that there was so much uncleaned muck in and around the stovetop, but it is better then it was. Much better), I am looking forward to trying my hand at a bit of culinary flair. Although, 1 medium jet provides minimal output, and the little jet does not work at all ...
Went to farewell the bikes on Sunday, but the whole event had been postponed due to rain! So got wet walking over there, wetter walking back, and all for naught!!! But, it was a rather exciting time of the day to be up and about, it must be admitted ...

Day For ... Fore wot tho???

Day For
As I said, awoke very, very early, feel so burnt and grungy :( But Felix was also up early enough, about 7, so after he had showered and perfumed himself, we set off to go visit La Madre Bread, they having a consistently high standard of bread IMHO ... Got there and discovered that they had moved (!), albeit just across the road and back a bit-where the Post Office used to be ... Bought two (2) loaves of their rye bread, and got 1 sliced, so that I could take it to work to use in the toaster. Also got a couple of ciabattis and a currant roll for later ... Then went next door and bought a couple of pies - $5 for a pie!!! WTF?
After getting over that shock, climbed back into the car and went to visit Michael at Volare's-he was very, very hoarse from cheering the cyclists on over the past few days :o Needless to say, coffee was very, very good, but, oddly enough, not up to his usual standard? Or maybe my tastes have just changed over time? But in any case, divine coffee, marred only by Felix asking for a mug of coffee, and Michael having to explain that the cups did not go that big, albeit in slightly more robust terms ... But so divine in fact, that I decided to treat myself to another cup ;) Michael asked after Rachael, and even when I explained the situation, he still insisted that I was not allowed to visit again until I had at least seen/spoken with her ... Cruel, very cruel ...
From there it was around the corner to visit Greg, to waste some of his time chinwagging about the GTC and the Otway Classic. He explained that there was a strong lack of coordination with the event's organisers and some of the previous participants (e.g. Simon and Genevieve), so he was not confident that it would go off without a hitch ... But for all that, he is going to ride, enjoy himself, and keep up his tradition-this will be his 30th annual ride! :o Related the anecdote of running into a bloke at Cunningham's Pier, discussed Gitanes, and Felix pulling out a business card of Greg's, that he 'just happened to have' in his wallet ... Customers then came in, so thought it best to depart, to leave him in peace, as it were, and get on with the day ...
On the way back called into Mood Support Centre so that I could see Reid, and lose at a few games of pool ... Place is looking large, and all seemed happily settled into the new place (even if it has been like 2 years there), with much going on there as well.
Went back to the house, dropped off some stuff, then headed off to look at the new bridge that had gone in at Barwon Heads, home of filming for 'Seachange', inspiration to so many ... Surprisingly, because he had said it had been going on for quite a while, the bridge was still not finished ... But there sure were a lot of materials and tools around, waiting to be used ... So maybe something else is in the 'pipeline' down there? Anyway, stopped in at Body Torque on the way out of Ocean's Grove-after getting lost trying to find the old place! As in. the building was still there, but there were Sparkies playing around amongst the detrius of the building, so we packed up and moved off, only to discover that it had moved off to the roadside ... Plenty of interesting stuff, and it seems that they have become Avanti dealers (+ there was a rather nice 'Kyrpton' in there too), but nothing grabbed the attention, so headed off again. Turned up Swan Bay Road, and I have to admit that the gradient was not that fierce, but whether that was because we came at it the other way, or were in the car, I am not sure ...
Grabbed some milk + cheese, then home for lunch, before the Hallis girl called me for our stipulated 1pm interview - my 1st impressions are that I am going to have to invest a lot of time/effort into this, so I hope it pays off ... Group session for 4 hours tomorrow (got invited to that) and then panel interview the week after ... So, we shall see, we shall see ...Initial role will be to deal with Urban Water calls :o with 6 months initially in City, before posting out to suburbs? Might see if I can stay in City, however? But that is a discussion for another day/time-have to get the job 1st ... Rather amusing for me was that I was struggling with the final question - Describe how you explained a difficult concept - and then the battery on the phone died!!! Amazing how it gets about 30mins, and then just dies like that ... Maybe 3B was right?
Because of of all this, felt I was running a bit late, so headed off to airport, and sent Donna Rae an apologetic text about missing her further. Typically, the run was quite quick, and I ended up sitting at Avalon typing up the previous day's adventures for the blog ... Succumbed to temptation, and sent a text to 3B re chatting when I got home, discovering that she had fallen asleep in the sun whilst enjoying a day off - sometimes wonder if that girl ever works!!! ;) The trip back was less unpleasant, with an entire row to myself, even though the front of the plane was quite full! Noticed a few bike helmets and carriers amongst the passengers, with a lot of pleased/stunned looks ... Anyway, got in, caught train back to town, changed at Central, where I promptly walked the wrong way, and had to turn around before getting down to ANZAC Square to catch bus home. Logged in to discover that entries for GC100 had closed :( that 3B may have intended not to meet me :( and that it sux ...
Maybe I should just give up???

Day FreeDoom

Wow, am I really so sarcastic + cynical? Or just (more so) when not sober??? Could be a reason to not drink, I suppose ...
Freud discussed how with freedom comes responsibility, but most only want the former ...
Anyway, got bored early, so thought to head into town, grab a bottle of water, go down to waterfront, and update this ... but, this being Geelong, the shops did not open until 10 ... So just wandered about, wondering at all the people about, seeing what the options were for coffee, not wanting to go to Rimmini's just yet, and ended up at a little waterfront cafe, which suddenly got very popular after I got there ...
Had Eggs Benedict, and although the girl suggested bacon, I went with the traditional ham. After I got it, and bit down into the cold ham, I could see why she recommended bacon ... Coffee (Flat white) was not that crash hot either ... But after giving up my table to a pair of gentleman who looked a bit shocked on walking in to see how chaotic it all was, I decided that it was all good ...
So went and got my bottle of water, then went down to waterfront, down by Cunningham's Pier. Opened up Silver Rocket, and quickly realised how ridiculous it was to try to type with the sunshine pouring down on me, so settled down to watch the cycling, the men having just left Melbourne-daylight saving proving its usefulness, having just started the night before ... The crowd down there was truly amazing, even that early in the piece, so I do worry about how full on it got later ... Anyway, the commentary was most appreciated, even if letting us know that Matthew Goss stopping for a 'nature break' was a little bit 'too much information' ...
By the time they got into Geelong, the breakaway was ahead by 25 minutes, with a lone Serbian stuck in the middle, 10 minutes from the leaders! Most amusing was the huge crowd surge when it was realised that the leaders were passing along Western Beach, as in, just over there; as in, just about to go past ... oh :o
So I let the crowd go wild, watched the peleton come into town, then headed off for a coffee at Rimmini's to get the day started again ... There was a substantial surge when the boys went past, before they all came back to enjoy their breakfasts. Had sat down to type, but with the increasing popularity, I thought best not to dawdle or linger too long ... One thing that was amusing was the commentary re. what would happen if the peleton was to take too long, as the course was about 25 minutes long, and if the leaders were that far out in front, by the time the peleton got to town, the leaders would be in danger of lapping them ... Not to mention what to do about the 'caravan' of cars that followed ... On way down came across a promo being done for 'Monster' energy drink, so grabbed a couple, and wrapped up in towel for later use(s), as apparently it is extremely similar to Red Bull-gives you wings? Full of caffeine, taurine, and other wonderful things like ginseng ...
Ended up under the bridge down the end of Moorabool, where the bikes took a tight turn, to go along the river. After a couple of laps, realised that I was literally around corner from Bruce's, so grabbed a snag from the Rotary van (which I thought was a rather good idea, given that there were a lot of people waiting around), and wandered over to see how they were. Interrupted lunch, so did not stay too long, but they were well enough, and it was good to look over the house briefly, before heading off to watch the racing yet again. It was about now that I thought to myself about why were the caravan of cars rushing about? But, how much more exciting this is - no radios, no support cars right behind ...
Thought to meander back into town to watch the conclusion of the race, catch a bit of the colour and vibrancy, but stopped on way back to visit De Grandi, and their sales garage, out back, where I bought some (Pinarello) gloves and (Euro) multi-lens glasses ... Typically Felix then rang me just as I was about to start the climb up the hill, so turned around, and met him at the pub for a stubby of Carlton, to watch the cyclists go flying past ... Ended up watching the conclusion of the race there, watching Cadel just keep driving, attacking, setting up Alan Davies to take out 3rd ... Was rather exciting, I tell you!
So, to celebrate, we went to get pizzas and some cans to have in the park, to enjoy the beautiful weather of the day ... As it was the last night, for me, UCI, Geelong, we headed off to the waterfront to see what was happening, and ended up at the Edge again! Was fun, but as I was tired, headed off early ... at which point he tells me that the girl he had been making eyes at all night actually responded that it was a shame we were leaving!!! So I had to take a wander around the promenade quickly to recharge batteries, to refocus, before heading back in to act as Wing-leader, to encourage and dazzle with his brilliance ... But went home alone, so I can't have done that good a job ... :o

Hmm ... glad I have gone home now-am waking up earlier and earlier (5/4/3) so if I stayed any longer, I probably would be waking up before I went to bed ... :o
Well, that sux!!! Just looked over at helmet, turns out he went to go get me a XL one from the car-last one, mate-but it is the M one ... :(

Day to ...

A day that started so crisp and fresh (a.k.a. bloody freezing - had two (2) blankets on, but had to then put heater on at 5), but barely a puff of wind, so was looking good for the race today ...
Awoke at 6, and Felix said he was off to some meeting at 7, but I did not hear him leave - although later he told me that he had been, but then came home and crawled into bed again for 'several' hours ...
Anyway got bored, then got text from Cass, so went into town and met her for breakfast, down at the famous Rinnai, which was all decked out with red/black balloons - apparently there was a football game on as well? Not that you would really know it with all the bikes and cyclists meandering around the streets of Geelong - warmed the cockles of my heart no end, I tell you!
Must say that there are an awful lot of pedalling police around this event - in fact, there are a lot of police, period! But all there to 'serve + protect' ... Apparently ...
Went down for a look at the trade stalls over at Cunningham Pier, and amazed at the spread of goods there - Ride, Baum, BMC (even had the Imprec there-looks/sounds nice), all there for the delight and excitement of the punters. Bought myself a new helmet, as the old one has cracks in it apparently :o
Anyway, soon swapped one guard for another, as Cass left soon after Felix arrived, and then it was all on again, for another day of racing ...
Women's race was quite exciting, with several breaks, and Arndt was there right to the very end, but was not able to conclude - the Italian Bronzini won ... Spent most of the day floating around Moorabool Street, watching the riders come through sporadically - the peleton was quite broken up, yet the girls kept going, doing lap after lap, especially the Malayasian riders. Met up with Kristie, and watched the amusement/entertainment in Mall, including a rather charming fellow who came up on a very small bike, but towing a huge amount of props! Interestingly, it was another sprint finish ...
Went home to change, trim the nails, before heading into Max's for dinner with Cass/Donna. On the way in, we came across the Netherlands team car with all these interesting bikes, so Felix and I stopped to argue about them, only to get 'busted' by Marianne Vos as she came out of the Doping Control :o Had a rather interesting little bottle of Six Foot Six 'Pinot Gris', albeit a 2009 vintage - had been promised a 2007 one, but none left :(
Then Cass wandered off, so the rest of us meandered down along the foreshore, absorbing the ambience, looking at the people, being seen - e.g. Rob Arnold and the Ride crew were there enjoying a little light dinner ... Donna wanted dessert, so had an ice cream cone down by the water, playing around, watching the waves drift in, the lights of the Bay reflected across the water, telling stories, laughing at each others' innocences ...
Then went back to Edge (?) to have another drink, and found a girl in flats who was as tall as I was ... Pity she was bit younger, but, hey, take what you can get ... ;) Especially in G-Town (even if she was visiting) ... After a bit, the others dragged me away, and we walked back up the hill - but the queue to get back into the Edge was seriously huge!!! The things that happen when otherwise occupied, hey? lol Stopped at Nash, where I made Felix dance with Donna as payback, but they were happy, so all good ...
Walking home I heard this strange music emanating from the pub on Myers Street, so I made Felix pull in there for a nightcap, but he was buggered (poor sod) and they were seriously shutting down, so we quickly killed the beers, wandered off, turning down my favourite laneway, to come out just next to 'Elephant and wheelbarrow' :) However, the memories of 'Psycho bitch' lay heavily upon me, on seeing the crowds seeping out, toying with each other, trying to end the night on a high, with another, so went home and crashed out for a few hours ...

Day won

Awoke early, and thus did not have an awful lot to do, so pottered about, wasting time, waiting, always waiting - can't get there too early, after all ...
Debated whether to walk or not, but then decided to jump bus anyway. Got off and went to Cosmo's for coffee + breakfast, only to find that it has all changed so much :o But, had my eggs + bacon, drank my coffee, rang Felix/Donna, checked in ...
There are an awful lot of oddly dressed men getting off the plane ... some in Swans regalia ... well, the colours anyway - actually, looks more like a 'Where's Wally' set up, if anything ...
The things you see - a rail trail that winds through 500k (so far) in WA, with overnight huts set up sporadically ... could be good? ... An arcade table, with over 60 games as standard-wonder if Galaga is included?
Sitting on plane tapping away, seem to have lost pen down there somewhere ... No doubt I will find it when we all get up, I suppose? Is a tad annoying, but what can you do, hey? All part of the rich tapestry of life, diverse, amazing, engaging ...
Left Brisbane with rain drifting down, and there is certainly a lot of cloud cover so far, although the voice on the tannoy announced that Geelong is pleasant, with only a mild breeze drifting across ... So many people on this flight - do not think I have ever seen a trip this full before? Am sure that not all of them are going to W/C ... are they? After all, there are some that are wearing Saints/Pies regalia ...
Must remember to take lots and lots of photos, but then actually use them ... Oh well, best to have too many and then winnow them down, then wish for more, I guess?
Plane landed, searched floor, no pen :(
Felix picked up, drove back into Geelong, debating about what to do, how to time things, as I had to go to bank, then catch up with friends for dinner. Because of cycling, we had to go around past Belmont to get through, which was fine, except that it seems everyone was going there too! So there was a very, very long wait to get through ... but once we were over the bridge, things moved a lot easier ...
Got to bank by walking into town, but even that resulted in a few 'detours' around the staging areas ... Stopped for a few ales at National Hotel, got a call from Hallis girl seeking time for phone interview, which I had best not forget about ... Wandered out to watch the U23 men go flying past, realised they still had another 50kms to go, so wandered back in for another beer (or two) ...
Came out, and went into the viewing platform to catch the last lap, and saw Matthews win ... Could not help but notice that everyone else up there seemed to have lanyards with photos, etc. on them, but the security guard tipped us a wink, and then just ignored us ... Saw Trevarrow and Rob Arnold up there, along with that guy :o from the HTC team ... Buggered if I can remember his name though! Matt White ...
Bumped into Zbig/Donna, then met Cass for a quick beer, then off to White Eagle to see Kristie, Kate and Bruce, where it turned out that it was their 4th anniversary :o My how time flies!!! Had a seafood platter, which was big, greasy, filling, and then went to play pool, which I managed to lose by 1 ball, as per usual ... But it was good for a few laughs, and that is all that matters, hey?
Back to have coffee, etc. at Kate/Bruce's, went with Kristie and had a bit of a chat in car about how things are doing, how she has been ... Got inside and found that some of my photos had been used :o Bruce had a new Wilier that he took great delight in showing off to me! Took some more photos, looked at the mower(s)-must sy, impressed by them also having a push mower!
Then Felix and I jumped back into car, grabbed jacket and headed out into the town, where I was absolutely shocked by the sheer emptiness of the city!!! My grand scheme of there being packs of biker babes roaming the streets of Geelong, anticipating the O+ race tomorrow, here for a 'wheely' good time, came to nought ... Visited Beav's, snuck across to Bended Elbow, got turned away (no photo ID), so wandered down to Ryrie and had a look at the new Bicycle Superstore ...
As we were wandering back, somehow Felix got me to stop in at Alley Cats ... so a pleasant day/evening was ended drinking beer, fending off 'offers' to watch private shows, and watching girls take their clothes off ...

Addendum/conclusion

Unsure why I feel so depressed, so low - she likes me, cares for me, wants to be my friend - which is what I want(ed) too ... So am I rubbed raw (again), I wonder? Am I really doomed to repeat such cycles of violence and abuse??? An email like that was a bit confronting - not even the courtesy of a phone call ... So, does it matter?
There is something to be said for the BCC wi-fi connectivity - I cannot connect!!! Imagine that is more about my inability to diagnose problems, explore context for connection, but what to do, hey?
Sunday arvo ...
Drink Crittenden Dry white
Visited QUT Art museum
Watched 'Perfect blue' DVD - has someone been watching/reading 'American psycho', maybe?
Somewhat random notes seems to be the nature of these postings :o
Smashing pumpkins are coming to town, and apparently they are the 'best grouping' yet!!! Which kind of is really interesting given that James and Darcy were the driving forces behind the words of Corgan ... Wonder if he ever got over the r/ship with Courtney?
Writing this, realising that I am discussing these people as if they were intimate friends, and I on first name basis with them, reminds me again of the consideration of 'gossip mags' with their enforced/shared intimacy with the 'stars' of the world ...
There were waves of clouds caressing the moon, skiding across the sky, leaving no trace of their passage, but stroking gently, effortlessly, arousing emotion/feeling in preparation for the full moon to arise in the sky tomorrow ...
Which kind of lead to the bit that sucked about being there - as I sit alone, writing, thinking, feeling, alone, men circle me like vultures waiting for death to arrive under the noon sun ... 'Want some company?' Want to enjoy my peace + quiet to be honest, let the thoughts erupt through my mind, skid effortlessly like the clouds above ...
Seems in this, as in life in the main, my role is to listen to others, to not be listened to, used and abused, the soiled tissue cast aside ... Is this a recognition of what my role in society is to be, an understanding that I must accept who/what I am, without cause for aspiration, or change? Or is it just a realisation that there are those that use me for their own needs, and I should just get used to it? Just get rid of those that do not add value to my life? But is that not 'mercenary' and/or rather self-serving, self-justified, self-focussed?
Did I mention that Friday is Geelong for the W/C, and I am very excited ... So much to do before though ... busy, busy, as someone once commented ...